|You know you want to touch|
This past Friday at 2200hours, we set out S.E.R.E. Urban Challenge Class 006 in Chicago: the first of its kind. But wait wait wait, you say. Didn't you complete a S.E.R.E. Challenge back in January in DC and almost die of a cashew allergy at the same time? Why yes, yes I did. I was part of S.E.R.E. Beta: once again, the first and only of its class. But the challenge has morphed over the past few months, so I came into Class 006 not having the foggiest idea of what to expect, except that we would be divided into teams within our class and one team would come out victorious as "Top Team."
|Despite what it may look like, this is|
really a survival skill. No lezzie.
Class 006 had three S.E.R.E veterans: myself, Todd, and Kimmie from the Beta class. As such, we were assigned to be team leaders. Teams were semi-randomly selected through the scientific art of sugar cookie-ing T-shirts and then duking it out against the other leaders in a low crawl, lunge, and push-up challenge. Needless to say, I lucked out with a rock star team, which set the tone for the rest of the challenge.
|Nothing like a low crawl into the clean waters of the lake|
3am. Chicago. No cell phones. And who the hell has payphones anymore? To make things even more fun, I, as team leader, suffered chemical burns to the eyes and needed to be blindfolded.
If you have never run 6+ miles at a decent clip (8min mile pace?) completely blindfolded, it's an exercise I highly recommend. Especially if you have 4 dudes leading you blindfolded through downtown Chicago in the middle of the night. NOTHING TO SEE HERE OFFICER, MOVE ALONG.
|Laughing while head slapping probably |
doesn't intimidate anyone.
|Hm, I think the field could use a |
bit more seaweed
- how to safely carry a person with a gaping stomach wounded. It's called a neck drag and I highly do NOT recommend it.
- that while it may be fun to kick boys in the nuts and poke them in the eyes, the art of muay thai is way more practical if you are ever going to get in a street fight. Watch out, boys.
- that flailing your arms frantically at a helicopter isn't the best means of communication. And that a large "LL" will prevent an awkward "no, I'm fine but thanks for stopping."
- that sand tables are NOT just big kid sandcastles, though they are certainly fun to build like one.
- that if someone throws a black tag on me, I'm fucked.
|The tourists on Navy Pier have never been so scared|
With NATO coming up this weekend in Chicago, I'm crossing my fingers I'll be able to pull some muay thai moves out on a few protestors as I head into the office. Let's just hope I don't have to neck drag any of their asses.
*A few months ago, I had no idea what a KA-Bar was. It's a knife. A big, fatty, 7-inch knife with a sheath. Technically, its a combat knife used by the Marines (hat tip to Wikipedia for my minimal knowledge).
**because, really, in an urban environment, no one is going to be carrying a 40+lb pack